Bartender asks why the long face

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Am I surrounded by horses? All I hear is a bunch of naysayers. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Loading… 0. Close Search for: Search.

Log In With social network: Facebook. Forgot password? Comedian A. The motorcycle mechanic peers across the shop and recognizes a long-time customer—a renowned heart surgeon. First, I did a Google search and was shocked to find information about Chew-eez rawhide strips on the Nestle Web site.

I assume the dog stuff is not made anywhere near the chocolate milk stuff right? Check that out and get back with me will you? I mean is this what parents shell out big bucks for their kid to study? But all that is not the point. I wanted you to witness the chew-eez transformutation that took place after my dog Pico had finagled one of the aforementioned strips and anyone attempted to get within twelve feet of her see the illustration. She absolutely lost it.

One minute sweetness and light—next minute CUJO. Hey Harvard, study this! A woman walks into an ice cream shop, steps up to the counter and orders a cone. After paying, she swings around and finds herself face to face with Paul Newman. He says hello and she nods, unable to speak. These are some of the folks who I find particularly funny. List of comedians…. My most vivid memories of that summer include being pulled behind a sleek inboard ski boat. I was two feet below the surface of the water and had forgotten to let go.

I also remember an encounter, while mowing the lawn, with a blacksnake which I promptly beat to death with a shovel. Remember their other big hit? We keep getting letters from you about clothes. We talked this over and finally figured out the problem.

Now that you have been away several weeks you have probably worn all of the clothes you took with you. Take a look under the bed, in the closet, etc. We purposely bought washable clothes except the suit, have that dry cleaned so that you could wear them again. Ask Aunt Dot about this. She has probably got a washer around the house and she knows about these things.

You will find that all these clothes are usable several times before you have to get new ones…. Write soon. Needless to say, I survived the summer with the clothes I came with.

Today, as he observes me frantically trying to steer my sons through the oncoming traffic of life, my dad has the grace and wisdom to fall on the floor and laugh his butt off.

What kind of pathetic loser would get himself into this situation right —cuffed, up against the wall, and a few precious inches from the steel teeth of a rabid biting machine? You guessed it—yours truly.